- Get and keep a small vial of Ganga, Yamuna or Radha-kunda water near bedside. At final moments, sprinkle some drops of water on her head and on her tongue. (just one-two drops to avoid choking)
- Get some (maha-tulasi leaf prasadam) from the lotus feet of a Krishna Deity from nearby ISKCON temple or nagaraja via courier mail. In the last few minutes of life, or if there is a chance someone may not be by her bedside at the last moment then do before, place the maha tulasi leaf on her forehead in third eye region between two eyebrows. (use touch of honey or freshly ground sandalwood paste to keep it in position)
- Get a maha prasadam flower garland from a Krishna Deity, and place around her neck during the last minutes and leave until her soul departs. (If you live near a temple get fresh one)
- Get some maha prasadam food remnants from a Krishna Deity and give to mother at any time and every day now if possible. (or secretly mix a little every day in her food if she is uptight about the whole thing). Especially at last minutes, must place super small crumb (like a dust particle to avoid choking) of a dry sweet maha-prasadam on her tongue.
- Get a very beautiful 8" by 10" photo of some ISKCON temple RadhaKrishna Deities (or a photo of some painting of Radha-Krishna or a picture of Radha-Krishna from Back to Godhead magazine, put in a frame and keep sitting by her bedside. Time to time she may gaze upon beautiful form or Radha-Krishna. At last moments may want to see more closely.
- Get a loose fitting tulasi wood bead necklace (kanti mala), touch it to feet of photo of Radha-Krishna, and then attach to her neck, and keep it there from now on through the time of cremation.
- Get some tulasi wood beads (japa mala) for chanting the maha-mantra. Also get some very small tulasi beads on a string to keep track of how many rounds of japa are chanted. (counter beads). You can also a buy small cloth bag to hold the tulasi japa mala. Encourage her to spend her last days chanting. Show her how to chant holding the beads in right hand and rolling each bead between the right thumb and middle finger. Roll each bead while chanting the full maha-mantra on each bead before moving to the next one. After chanting the mantra on 108 beads that is called one round of japa. She can chant many rounds of japa each day, and keep track with some small counter beads, which are attached to the bead bag if she uses a small bag to hold the beads.
The great mantra for deliverance and spiritual perfection
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare
Encourage her to chant by chanting along with her.** Especially at very last moments when soul flails and cries, suffers tremendous pain of departure. In many cases inconceivable fear, anxiety and disturbances come on full scale when the soul is forced to leave the body. Of course, many just die on coma or sleep. If mother is conscious at the last moments, then command her to chant Hare Krishna! Chant Hare Krishna! Chant Hare Krishna!
- Get two cassette tapes or CD of Srila Prabhupada chanting Hare Krishna. I-japa tape of Srila Prabhupada chanting Hare Krishna japa out load. 2-hare Krishna kirtana with kartals and mrdanga music.
If she does not object, keep the kirtana tape playing regularly by her bed. The japa tape can be played softly in the background when she chants japa on her tulasi chanting beads. In this way she is chanting along with Srila Prabhupada. Especially at last few hours, keep the kirtana tape playing loudly to purify the ethers and help her soul at the end.
- Farewell kirtana (means chanting Hare Krishna out loud with kartals and many chanters) In 1981 we all sat together in Mantaloking doing Krishna Kirtana. In the last moments, if by good fortune, you can have some Hare Krishna devotees by her bedside doing kirtana along with you and your family that would be the best.
- Cremation: **very important to insist that body is burned with tulasi wood, either with neck beads on or some tulasi japa mala or wood contacting the body.
- Ashes: Collect the ashes and contact a responsible devotee to bring them to Vrndavana in India and place in the sacred Yamuna River. Better yet, you bring them and we will get the good fortune of seeing you in the holy land of Vrndavana.
Please try your best to execute all these things for the benefit of mother.
Tulasi is auspicious in all respects. Simply by seeing, simply by touching, simply by remembering, simply by praying to, simply by bowing before, simply by hearing about or simply by sowing this tree, there is always auspiciousness. Anyone who comes in touch with the tulasi tree in the above mentioned ways lives eternally in the Vaikuntha world." (NOD PAGE 100)
NOTES ON DYING LEAVING THE BODY AND CREMATION
Chapter 8: An account of the Gifts for the Dying
yadä syäd äturah käla tadä snänam samäcaret
püjanam karayed visnoh sälagrama-sva-rupinah (5)
When it is near the time to die he must perform his ablutions and worship Visnu in the form of Salagräma.
arcayed gandha-puspais ca' kunkumais tulasi-dalaih
dhüpair-dipais ca naivedyari bahubhir modakädibhih (6)
He must worship with fragrant substances, with flowers, with red saffron, with leaves of Tulasi tree, with incense, with lamps with offerings of food and many sweetmeats and other things.
ekädasi-vratam gitä, gangämbhu-tulasi-dalam
visnoh pädämbu-nämäni marane mukti-dani ca (26)
The fast on Ekadasi, the Gita, the water of the Ganga, the leaves of Tulasi tree, the carnamatra and the names of Visnu—all these are givers of freedom at the time of death.
(The Lord explains to Garuda the rites for one preparing to leave the body)
Chapter 9 An account of the rites for the dying.
Garuda said: O Lord, You have spoken fully about the gifts for the diseased. Please tell me now about the rites for the dying.
The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: Listen O Tdrkdya. I will explain the rites for leaving body, and by what rites men after death reach a good condition.
When, by the effects of karma, the embodied being leaves his ordinary body, then near to a Tulasi tree one should make a ring with cowdung.
Next, having scattered sesamum seeds, he should strew darbha-grass, and then have the Salagräma-silä placed on the cleaned platform.
Sälagräma-silä yatra papa-dosa-bhayäpahä
tat-sannidhäna-maranän muktir jantoh suniscita (5)
Liberation is certain for the being who dies near the Salagräma-silä, which removes all ills and sins.
Where there is the shade of the Tulasi tree, which removes the pain of being, there is always liberation for the dying, difficult to obtain by gifts.
The servants of Yamraja do not go to the house where the Tulasi tree is situated and worshipped. Indeed, such a house is a form of a place of pilgrimage.
Yamaräja does not desire to go to the pious person who, while giving up their life air, keeps a Tulasi maïjari (prasäda) in their mouth, even if that person has committed hundred of sins.
The person who dies on a seat of darbha grass and sesamum seeds with a Tulasi leaf (prasäda) in his mouth goes without a doubt to the abode of Lord Visnu, even if they have no son.
Sesamum seeds, darbhä-grass and Tulasi Devi are three holy things, and they prevent an ailing from going to a miserable condition.
Therefore, kusa-grass, fire, mantras, Tulasi Devi, brahmanas and cows do not lose their purity by being used again and again.
Darbhä-grass becomes unclean when used with rice-balls (offering to the departed ancestors). Brähmanas, by eating the offering for the departed; Mantras, cows, and Tulasi Devi. When used in base ways (used for other then Krsna's service); and fire, when used on a cremation ground.
(Chapter ten Rules for burning the body)
Funeral pyre should be made with wood of Asvatta, palasa, tulasi & sandalwood